“Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course we wouldn’t fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart.” -Sex and the City
A good friend of mine sent me this quote the other day when I was questioning every decision I had ever made about a boy. THE boy as far as I was concerned. What if I had done this? What if I had said that? What were the magic words that could fix it? What if, what if, what if? That’s the infuriating thing about the “what ifs” in your life. Just when you think you’ve got the answer you’d been trying to find for one of them, it leads you to another “what if.” When my friend sent me this I was resistant to think into it too much because it’s from a TV show—what could it know about real life?—, but then I had the following thought: WHAT IF it IS the veering off course that gets us where we’re supposed to be; where we truly want to go. The moments of uncertainty we encounter are really moments of clarity. The unexpected way that things and relationships happen are what guide us. It’s the irregular moments in what we think are the regular moments that get us to our fate. Our irregularities are what make us regular.
What veers us off the course we think we’re supposed to be on? What happens when things don’t happen the way you think they should? The way you had planned? What then? But hold on. Those are the moments of importance. Those are the extraordinary moments. Those unexpected forces that push you into uncharted waters. The things that make us question what we thought we wanted and how we thought we were supposed to get them. Those things that seem too difficult to possibly get through that they can’t possibly be worth fighting for. Those are the things we should hold onto. Those are the people that matter. Those moments and those people create your fate. But what happens when that one person, the one who has become all of those things and moments in your life, fights so hard not to believe in that same fate as you? And WHAT IF you just refused to let go and held on just long enough for that person to finally see that same fate in you?
You may think you get to choose, and in many ways you really do, but your life just may happen to you in ways you never saw coming. And maybe, just maybe, that’s what makes all of your dreams come true. And the funny thing is that you never stood a chance against what fate already had in store for you.